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A real
stand-up runner! (continued...) I’d done a low-carb diet before, which I think is the hardest diet to stick to. I went on it and after a couple of weeks I was sitting in church and it was communion Sunday, and that little gold tray came by with those wafers, and I took one, and I was like, ‘I can’t eat this, this is a carbohydrate.’ Then I thought, ‘Well, it’s not really a carb, it’s the body of Christ!’ So I stuck it in my mouth and then I realized I was savoring it like a filet mignon. A lot of times when I run I don’t think about anything. It’s probably the only time I do anything that I’m not thinking about something. I have three sisters and we’re all the biggest bunch of hypochondriacs. (Holds her hand to her ear and mouth, like a telephone) ‘Hey, what’s up?’ ‘I have this mole that’s changing colors. The dermatologist doesn’t think it is, but IT IS.’ I need to keep moving, because the less I move the more I think there’s something wrong with me. If I keep doing stuff, it keeps me from worrying about things that I really shouldn’t worry about. My husband’s a huge deer hunter. That was another thing that led me to take the comedy job. We’d been together for a few years and I was getting my feelings hurt. He’d leave every weekend and I was thinking, ‘There’s no hobby that I have that would take up the whole weekend.’ I remember him and a couple of the other guys say, ‘You ladies are just upset because you don’t have hobbies.’ And we were like, ‘We do have hobbies! We … well, we drink beer! And we talk! And we shop!’ But nothing that we do goes on for the whole weekend. You can only drink so much and you’ve only got so much money for shopping before you run out! And I remember saying, ‘I talk, and I can parlay that into a hobby!’ I didn’t tell him I was doing it for probably six weeks. He’d come back from the weekend and say, ‘What’d you do?’ And I’d say, ‘Nuthin’, just hung out with my friends.’ Mostly because I didn’t want to fail and then have to explain it. I don’t think there are any other optometrist comedians... not that I’m aware of, anyway. I don’t make jokes about optometry. Mainly because it’s not funny to anybody but optometrists. I’ve progressed real quick, which I’m happy about, but I think a lot of that has to do with my background. I’m a studier. I’m a preparer. I’ll sit down and make myself work on material for a few hours. There’s a huge difference between being funny and being able to pull off comedy. It is a commitment. If I make a goal I’ll usually commit to it and do my best. It’s kind of like with running, you have to look at yourself and say, ‘I can do the best that I can do. There’s probably always gonna be somebody that’s gonna beat me. But I can do the best that I can do.’ I try to take that approach with everything.
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